


ripped at every edge but you're a masterpiece

by pondify



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Age Changes, Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-05
Updated: 2015-10-09
Packaged: 2018-04-25 01:13:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 3,798
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4941031
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pondify/pseuds/pondify
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><i>It isn’t until much later, when everything has already happened and your life has become hopelessly entangled with his, that you even really remember it happened at all.</i>
</p><p>Or, the one where Phil is a freshman in high school and Dan is the cute junior in his drama club, and they end up ruining each other.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. i

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is just a short prologue-type thing, as kind of an introduction to the story. It will be told in chapter-like parts that aren't directly connected (meaning each part will likely wrap itself up by the end), but it's all chronological, and all part of the same universe.

The first time, you don’t really meet. Because yeah, there’s a boy, one you’ve never talked to before but you’re pretty sure you’ve seen around once or twice, talking to your friends, but you don’t think much of it, especially since the boy turns to leave just as you join the group, giving you a fleeting but polite smile as he walks away.

“Who was that?” you ask PJ, more out of obligation than real curiosity.

You don’t even remember the name PJ gives you, and soon you forget about the boy altogether. It isn’t until much later, when everything has already happened and your life has become hopelessly entangled with his, that you even really remember it happened at all.

 


	2. ii

It’s some time later and you’ve just joined the theatre group at school, and you’re a bundle of excited nerves at the prospect of being in your first _real_ play, and everybody is really nice and you’ve got Chris, PJ, and Louise with you, and all seems right with the world. A week into rehearsals and the novelty of it all still hasn’t quite worn off, but you’re a bit more used to it, and you’re even making a few friends in the cast.

One day the director is late and the theater is locked, so you’re all gathered in the choir room because that’s where his office is, anyway, and you see a tall, brown-haired, familiar-looking boy carrying a black binder and headed toward a side room – and if you aren’t mistaken, the boy actually glances at you for a moment before looking away. Curiosity taking over, you furrow your brow and follow, shoving a hand into the pocket of your skinny jeans. Your fingers close around the door handle and you turn it hesitantly, shoulders automatically slumping in an attempt to hide yourself even as the boy looks up at you from where he’s seated at the small piano crammed into the room.

“Hi,” you say.

“Hey,” the boy responds, not looking surprised at all to see you – on the contrary, he gives you a little two-fingered salute and a smile.

“Uh, do you mind if I join you for a bit?” you ask, smiling a bit shyly.

The boy shakes his head, semi-wavy brown hair falling into his eyes. “Not at all,” he says, setting his fingers on the keys of the piano (seriously, who knew these tiny closet-like rooms could fit whole _pianos_ in them?).

You close the door behind yourself, walking over to the chair beside the boy and sitting down slowly. “D-do you play?” you ask, then feel your cheeks warm in mortification at the stupid question. Of _course_ he does, why else would he be in here?

“Yeah,” the boy answers, smirking at you like he knows exactly what’s going through your head, but somehow it’s a friendly smile, not a mocking one. “A little, anyway.”

“Me too,” you says, your eyes fixed on the boy’s long, pale fingers resting on the ivory keys, and your own fingers itch a little to draw them.

The boy’s grin widens, dimples caving in his cheeks and his dark brown eyes lighting up. “Oh really? You’ll have to play for me sometime,” he says, mischievous.

Huffing a laugh, you shake your head. “Uh, no way,” you say.

“Oh, I’ll get you to crack.” The boy laughs, and then he’s playing, his fingers drawing out a sweet melody from the piano, and you’re a little mesmerized, just listening. And it’s not your fault if the boy starts to look a little more beautiful to you, because you’ve always had a weakness for boys who play the piano, and this one’s no exception.

When he finishes, you blink, coming out of the trance. “Wow,” is all you can say.

The boy laughs too loudly, and it’s a nice sound. “Horrible, right? I just started learning it, so it’s really rubbish right now.”

“Wait, what? No!” you rush to say. “No, that was… it was amazing.”

“Thanks,” he says, grinning broadly.

There’s a knock at the door, and you both look up to see a boy that looks a bit like the one sitting beside you, holding an unidentifiable flat cardboard box. Smirking slightly, the boy beside you stands up and walks over to the door, opening it. You stand too, awkward and feeling like you’re taking up too much space.

“Mum brought you pizza,” the boy at the door – you think he’s your new sort-of-friend’s brother – says, displaying the box.

Your companion (yes, that’s the right word for him) laughs. “Give it here,” he says.

“No,” says his brother, stepping back out of reach and frowning a little. “She said you have to eat it out here.”

“Fine, God, just give it here,” your companion says, rolling his eyes and taking a step or two out of the room. You step forward to the doorway as well, not wanting to be left out but unsure of whether the boy wants you to follow him or not.

The boy’s brother hands him the box of pizza, and the second it’s in his hands, your companion is darting back inside the side room (you jump out of the way quickly, eyes wide and breath catching) and slamming the door shut. And you don’t know why, but his laughs are so contagious, and you’re laughing along with him and watching his brown eyes sparkle as he sits back down at the piano.

“Hey, do you want some?” he asks, opening the box and setting it on the empty chair on his other side.

“Um,” you say, surprised as you seat yourself. “Y-yeah, if you don’t mind.”

The boy smiles and passes you a slice. You take it and you notice how your fingers don’t brush, and you’re glad because how stupidly cliché would that be? Besides, this isn’t at all romantic, right?

“You know,” he says after a few minutes of comfortable silence, “you’re one of the only freshmen that doesn’t get on my nerves.”

You let out a startled laugh. “Um… thanks, I guess?”

“You’re welcome.” He smiles cheekily at you, and you laugh.


	3. iii

Why, you wonder to yourself as you sit slumped in a chair in the semi-dark theater, _why_ do Saturday rehearsals exist?

Here you are, thinking you’re going to get to rest for once, maybe sleep in a bit, and your director calls you all in for rehearsal. On a _Saturday._ And yeah, you get it, the play is in less than a month and you guys aren’t even done blocking every scene, but still.

“Hey,” a voice calls out softly, interrupting your thoughts.

You look up and there he is, the boy with the beautiful brown eyes and the piano-playing fingers, the boy who shared his pizza with you that day a few weeks ago. He smiles at you and slides into the seat beside you, and you blink.

“Hi,” you say, desperately wracking your mind and trying to remember his name. It isn’t coming to you.

“Phil, right?” he says, smiling, and well. You’re officially a terrible person, he remembers your name and you don’t remember his.

“Yeah,” you say, nodding, and this a perfect opportunity for you to admit that you’ve forgotten his name. _Just ask him what it is._

There’s a short pause before he says, “So, enjoying the early-morning weekend rehearsals?” and the moment is gone.

You roll your eyes, but you can’t stop a smile from breaking out on your face. “Does it look like it?” you ask. “It’s way too early for this!”

“I know, right,” he begins, adjusting his posture as if he’s about to go off, but the director calls out a scene, and the boy beside you sighs.

 “Is that you?” you ask.

“Yeah, I’ve gotta go,” he says, and he actually sounds regretful. “Here – why don’t you hold my script?” he adds as he stands, holding out his script book to you.

You stare at him, but only for a second, before nodding and taking the script (again, your fingers don’t touch, thank God). “Are you sure?”

“’Course I’m sure,” he says, smiling at you as he heads away.

It doesn’t even occur to you to check the front of the book to see if his name is written there; you’re too busy following the highlighted lines during the scene and feeling a bit fascinated by his voice echoing through the theater.


	4. iv

The boy grins at you, waving a little as he heads onto the stage, and you can’t help but smile back as you watch him from the wings. You barely even realize that several of your other cast members are gathered around you until their stares on you begin to prickle your skin.

“So, Phil,” says Tyler, a boy you sort of know from some classes and stuff, raising an eyebrow at you and leaning in conspiratorially. “Are you and Dan, like, _together_?”

 _Dan._ A fitting name, you think, for the boy with dimples deeper than the ocean and gorgeous eyes and beautiful hands.

“W-what?” you say, refusing to let yourself be distracted by the fact that you finally know the boy’s name. “No, of course we aren’t.”

Tyler and another boy, Troye, exchange knowing looks. “Are you sure?” Tyler asks you, clearly fighting a smile. “I mean, it’s pretty clear he’s into you.”

You feel your cheeks flush a little. “I don’t… what are you talking about?” you say stubbornly. “There’s no way he’d like me, he’s like – he’s a junior, isn’t he?”

“Yeah, but, still,” Tyler insists. “Come on, Phil. Don’t you at least think he’s cute?”

“I suppose,” you say, shrugging, embarrassed. “But that doesn’t mean I like him, or that he likes me.”

Tyler grins, and you’re not sure why, but it terrifies you just the slightest bit. “If you say so.” 


	5. v

You don’t know how you ended up here, but for some reason, it’s a few days later and you, Dan, and Tyler are all sitting on the lumpy golden prop couch at the edge of the stage. Dan’s laugh is loud in your ear and Tyler is beaming, and you wonder if it’s an insult to your friend that you think you would rather be alone with Dan, but you don’t want to consider that.

You’ve been a little spaced out thinking about it, actually, and you shake yourself out of your confusing mind. The next thing you hear is Tyler saying, “Phil, remember what we talked about the other day?”

“Um,” you say, immediately remembering Tyler trying to convince you that Dan has a crush on you, because honestly, how could you forget something like that. “Yeah, I guess?”

Tyler gives Dan a significant look. “Am I right?” he says.

Dan shifts a little in his seat. “What do you mean?” he asks, like he’s trying to buy time, like he knows _exactly_ what Tyler means.

“Come on!” Tyler grins, elbowing Dan in the side, and you can’t help but feel a tiny spark of jealousy at that gesture.

“… Yeah,” Dan says, after a pause. “I mean, _yeah_ , I guess.”

“Wait, what?” you say, but nobody acknowledges you.

“I knew it!” Tyler says, grinning from ear to ear.

You nudge Dan a little. “What’s going on?”

Dan’s cheeks turn slightly pink, but he’s smiling at you, and you try not to notice how bright it makes his chocolatey brown eyes. “Nothing, it’s nothing. Tyler just… guessed something right about me.”

“You have to tell him,” Tyler says.

Dan shakes his head. “No, I don’t.”

“Tell who what?” you demand. This whole being-ignored thing is starting to be frustrating.

“Yes, you do!” Tyler insists, glaring at Dan a little from behind his glasses. “Come _on_ , Dan. He deserves to know.”

“Fine! Fine, I’ll… I’ll tell him later,” Dan says, looking slightly defeated.

Thoroughly confused, you stand up. “All right, I’ll leave you two to your secret-telling,” you say, only half-joking as you prepare to hop down from the stage.

Dan’s fingers catch your wrist briefly, and you turn to look at him in surprise. “Phil, wait! You don’t have to go,” he says quickly, too quickly, almost as if he can’t help it.

Your cheeks flush but you can’t stop the smile that pushes at the corners of your lips. “Actually, I’ve got to prepare for the next scene, but I’ll talk to you later?” you tell him.

He releases you, nodding shortly and sinking back into the gilded sofa. “Oh. Okay, yeah, see you later,” he says, and you ignore Tyler’s grin as you wave and jump awkwardly down off the stage.

* * *

 

 “Hey, Phil,” says Dan as he falls into step beside you. Rehearsal’s just ended and you’re headed out to the front of the school to wait for your dad, and you can’t deny that your heart picks up speed a little at the sight of Dan’s face.

“Hi!” you say cheerfully, adjusting the strap on your backpack. “What’s up?”

“Um, nothing really,” Dan says, tugging his sleeves down over his hands. You notice how nervous he seems, and your smile disappears, but before you can say anything he rushes on. “So, uh, Tyler told me that I had to tell you this, because he guessed it and he was right, so… what we were talking about earlier is that, well, I like you.”

You blink, mouth falling open a little. _What_?

“Oh,” you say.

“Yeah.” Dan chuckles nervously.

“I, um – really? I had no idea,” you say, and you probably sound incredibly stupid right now but you really would never have guessed, and you’re kind of in shock right now.

“Seriously?” Dan laughs again, and it sounds less forced this time. “I thought it was _so_ obvious.”

You shake your head, but maybe it _was_ obvious, and you’re just really slow on the uptake. “Nope,” you say with a nervous sort of giggle. “But maybe I’m just not the most observant.”

“Apparently,” he teases you, sounding a little more relaxed.

You reach the doors and your dad’s car is already outside, idling by the curb. Your eyes widen a bit and you turn to Dan, saying quickly, “That’s my dad, I’ve got to go, see you tomorrow!” before pushing the doors open.

“Um – bye, Phil!” you hear him call after you, and you wave as you run out to the car.

Later you’re smacking your forehead and calling yourself a stupid idiot once again, because you’ve just realized that you never told him that you feel the same.


	6. vi

Lately, you seem to be getting into a lot of situations that involve you not knowing how you got there. This is one of them.

You and Dan are sitting alone in the very back of the theater. The lights are off, the only light coming from the stage, and you stare fixedly at your hands, your knee bouncing incessantly.

“Were you serious, about what you said yesterday?” you blurt out, breaking the comfortable silence between the two of you.

“Of course I was,” Dan says, sounding amused.

You nod quickly, your eyes flickering over to him for a moment. “I, um, I didn’t really answer you back,” you say.

Dan raises an eyebrow, waiting for you to continue.

“I…” You trail off, face flushing. Your stomach churns and you wonder why they’re called _butterflies_ , because they feel more like snakes, twisting around in your stomach and making you feel sick, but it’s not necessarily a bad feeling. You drag a hand down your face and slump in your chair, laughing self-consciously. “I’m so embarrassed right now.”

“It’s okay,” Dan says, gentle, encouraging. “Just say it.”

You inhale deeply, dropping your hand back into your lap. “I – I feel the same way,” you mumble before you lose your nerve. “I like you, too.”

He laughs. “Now, that wasn’t so hard, was it?”

“ _Yes_ ,” you whine.

Dan beams at you, chuckling, and you grin back, your tongue poking out of the corner of your mouth a little.

There’s a short pause before you speak again. “You know, I never thought… I didn’t think you’d like me,” you say, a little shy.

He gives you another smile, and his eyes are impossibly soft, affection warming them. “Why wouldn’t I?” he asks like it’s the most obvious answer in the world, and his fingers brush yours.

A delighted grin breaks across your face. “I don’t know,” you stammer. “I guess… because you’re a junior and you’re _cool_ and I’m just… me. I’m just a freshman.”

Dan touches your hand again, and this time he doesn’t move it away. “But you’re amazing, Phil,” he says softly, and your heart feels full to bursting with happiness.

After rehearsal Dan asks for your number, which you give him. Contrary to your expectations, he actually texts you rather quickly – you’re not even home yet when your phone goes off.

_**[unknown number]:** hey, its dan btw_

You smile, adding his number into your contacts.

_**[phil]:** hey! :)_

_**[dan]:** you seem excited. do you miss me already?_

Heat fills your cheeks, and you set your phone down on your lap. Do you seem too clingy? Dan makes you nervous in a way that nobody else ever really has before. Plus, you can’t deny that you really, _really_ like him.

It’s been six minutes since Dan texted you and your dad is pulling into the driveway, so as you get out of the car you type the most neutral answer you can think of and send it.

_**[phil]:** is there a safe way to answer that question?_

Your phone vibrates in your pocket a moment later, but it takes a minute for you to get past your parents and into your room where you can be alone to analyze his texts in peace.

_**[dan]:** the honest answer is safe to say no matter what… :)_

_Oh._ Regardless, you try to make your response as casual as possible, just to be on the safe side.

_**[phil]:** well in that case, i suppose i do xD_

Your heart is pounding way too hard for a simple text conversation. _Calm down, Phil,_ you tell yourself. _Calm down –_

Your phone goes off again and your pulse skyrockets.

_**[dan]:** well good. because i miss you too :)_

You press a hand to your mouth, unable to contain your grin. There’s something about this boy that makes you giddy like a love-struck teenager, and if that’s what you are it might be dangerous, but right now you couldn’t care less.


	7. vii

It’s only been two days since Dan told you he liked you, and you know that usually when two people confess their feelings for each other, they begin dating right away. Still, you’re not really _used_ to the whole “dating” thing, and it feels a bit… soon for Dan to be asking you out.

Not that you’re complaining, exactly. But you can’t deny that you’re a little nervous.

Dan is sitting beside you in an otherwise empty stairwell after rehearsal while you wait for your dad to come pick you up. You _know_ he’s going to ask you, he hinted at it last night over text, and one would think that would make you feel more relaxed about the whole thing – but it only serves to make you _more_ anxious. There’s only so much anticipation a guy can take.

You watch Dan’s long fingers drumming against his knee for a good thirty seconds before he takes a sharp breath and straightens, turning to you. “I don’t really know how to do this, so I’m just gonna be straightforward,” he says, looking up at you and meeting your eyes as he tugs his sleeve down over his hand. “So, um, will you be my boyfriend?”

It’s stupid, but you laugh, because it’s Dan and he’s honestly adorable and it’s not like you aren’t still nervous, but at least the question’s out of the way. “Yeah,” you say, ducking your head a little. “Yeah, I will.”


	8. viii

Everyone’s relationship is different, and you know that. You know that people take longer to say certain things than others, but you just thought… well, you thought that you and Dan’s would be one relationship that didn’t move too fast. You like him a lot but you still want to be careful, despite what your heart is telling you.

So it’s a little unexpected when you and Dan are texting one evening not too many days later and he drops a bomb on you.

_**[dan]:** so one thing i know we discussed having in this relationship is honesty... i know we haven’t been together for very long but i feel like it’s the right time for me to say this_

_**[dan]:** i love you_

Your heart skips a beat and your stomach drops, and not in a good way. Swallowing hard, you’re trying to formulate a response when your phone vibrates in your hand again.

_**[dan]:** i’ve never felt so strongly about anyone before... i know it seems crazy to say after such a short amount of time but it’s true_

You take a deep breath. _Be honest, Phil._ Honesty is the best policy – you and Dan decided already that you two will always tell each other the truth and talk your problems through, but this feels different somehow.

Still, you can’t bring yourself to lie to him.

_**[phil]:** i need to be honest with you too_

_**[phil]:** i really like you dan_

_**[phil]:** but i don’t think i can say right now that i love you. i want to be your boyfriend but i don’t think im ready to say that yet. is that ok?_

You’re actually shaking as you set your phone down again, and you’re glad Dan isn’t here to see how nervous you are about this. Your heart is in your throat as you wait for his response, and when your phone goes off you almost drop it in your haste to unlock it and read his text.

_**[dan]:** yes of course it is, i’m not gonna make you say anything if you arent ready to_

_**[dan]:** i just wanted to let you know how i felt, i don’t want to make you do or say anything that you don’t mean :) thank you for being honest_

You let out a breath, running a hand through your fringe and allowing a small grin to form on your face.

_**[phil]:** haha good, i was worried there_

_**[phil]:** thank you dan._

Love is a strong word, you think as you slip your phone into your pocket. Maybe it should concern you that Dan is already throwing it around so casually, but something tells you he really means it, and maybe – just maybe – the two of you are going to become something beautiful, something that lasts.

You hope so.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i just want to thank you guys for the positive feedback i've been receiving so far :) it really means a lot to me that people are already enjoying this story


End file.
